The Big Itch of "One Small Hitch"

Perhaps I am a romantic with romantic films....not in the sense of getting overwhelmed by the climactic love scenes  but in my belief of their potential to portray human relationships the way the really are: sour at times as well as sweet, often one-sided but with a genuine push to restore them to their mutual sanctity, and fearful as well as fearless.  Some romance films do indeed, believe it or not, present the challenges, the tribulations, the disappointments and the simple pleasures of romance quite vividly and accurately.  Others fall dramatically short of expectations

On the outside, One Small Hitch shares a lot in common with The Proposal (the last film I reviewed).  In both films, the guy and gal protagonists pretend to be engaged and have to do awkward things to demonstrate their "faux amour" toward one another.  For The Proposal, the goal is to deceive immigration officials and for One Small Hitch, the goal is to provide the would-be groom's terminally ill father an ounce of happiness in the final chapter of his life.

The big difference is that the deception in One Small Hitch is more than just the "sham engagement" itself...it runs deep within the relationship.  The guy character Josh (played by Shane McRae) notifies his parents of his "engagement" to the girl character Molly (played by Aubrey Dollar), an old family friend, without her even agreeing first.  And he does this after meeting her at the airport, where she has just ended an engagement of her own after being cheated on.  Granted, Molly does agree after the fact, but it's only after he guilts her into doing it and while on a plane, where she can't really physically escape anywhere.

Message #1 to guys (from the film): snatch a girl quickly while she's on her rebound, and you just might be able to get her to do anything.

If that were the only issue with the film's deception, it may have had the potential to redeem itself, but unfortunately, that didn't happen.  Several times Molly wants to call off the scam but is egged on to just suck it up and get on with it...first by circumstance (her mother is getting married and she doesn't want to ruin her wedding with news of the deception), then by her social standing ("wow!  he gave you that beautiful ring of his grandmother's!  he must really love you!"), and ultimately by her own deception to herself that she can't do better than him anyway, which leads us to...

Message #2 to guys (from the film): if you can't compel a woman to do something that is advantageous to you, other forces (society, her friends even) will.

As far as how much the sham engagement inconveniences Josh, there is but one example.  He meets another lady friend from his past, starts to catch up with her, but is pulled away by a relative who informs this lady of the news that he's already taken.  But not to worry for Josh, he ends up "reconnecting" with her anyway and it's incidentally right as Molly is starting to fall from him (if she hadn't already started to from moment one of the film).

Yes he does eventually call off his relationship with the other girl as he falls in love with Molly, but the other girl (Gieselle) is the one who plays the role of "close confidant"...the one that urges him to forgo his playboy ways and go get the girl! (as if she never had any investment in her relationship with him and was simply there to satisfy his desires).

He even brings Giselle along in his quest to "go get the girl" Molly at the hospital, where his father has just been admitted.  At the sight, Molly decks him right in the nose  but then immediately forgives him and accepts his [real] proposal for marriage

Message #3 to guys (from the film): you can be an asshole and not lose....as long as you're willing to get punched in the face.

So I have to make decorations for this
sham marriage of yours too?

Interestingly, the worst part of the film isn't even the messages the film sends but rather a filler scene after Molly gives up trying to find someone other than Josh.  She and her friend go shopping and try on all these ridiculous looking outfits, and I'm not sure if they even had a reason to purchase clothes.  And speaking of deception, the fact that Capital Cities' incredibly bouncy tune Safe and Sound plays during this ordeal deceives the viewer into thinking that this scene plays a real role in the narrative.  While it doesn't appear to be product placement for any particular brand of clothes, it clearly (like so many other films of the genre) portrays shopping as the cure-all for any sort of emotional irresolution.

The only redeeming factor of this movie is the acting of Aubrey Dollar who portrays Molly's awkwardness, frustration, and strong-willed nature quite effectively, but you would think that the writer of this film could have given her more opportunities to be more at her own will and less at the mercy of others.

Final Verdict: Both BAD and UGLY

Most awkward part of having no-kissing scenes: We go from proposal straight to the delivery room of the first baby, which is even more awkward because it seems to confirm the rumors throughout the film that Molly was DWP (Drinking While Pregnant).

Saying Yes to "The Proposal"

Despite popular belief, men adore successful women.  They may resent (as part of human nature) any person including a women who may be doing better they are, but once they have a successful woman on their side, they realize the benefits and change their attitudes of that person accordingly.  It's successful women, rather, that are intimidated by men or at least by the perceived dilemma that they will have to choose between their significant others and their careers and then be judged as "not adequate enough" based on whatever choice they make.

The love film The Proposal is a perfect representation of this "lack of resolve" a successful woman may encounter if she ends up partaking in romance.  Sandra Bullock stars as Margaret, a head of a publishing firm who conscripts her personal assistant Andrew, an aspiring author played by Ryan Reynolds, into marrying her not for love.....but because getting married is her only option to continue her career in New York and avoid getting deported back to Canada.  

An ironic aside: in real life, it's Ryan Reynolds who is Canadian and Sandra Bullock who is American. 

The relationship between the two starts as indifference on the part of Margaret to Andrew and as pent-up hostility on the part of Andrew and Margaret, as one might expect from a typical boss to personal assistant relationship.    Andrew agrees to Margaret's proposal but only after making her agree to promote him, take his manuscript seriously, and get down on her knees to make a proper proposal.  The role reversal here is captivating not just for its own sake but also because both characters seem to get some kind of pleasure from it even though they've yet to fall in love with each other.

SPOILER ALERT: THE GUY GETS THE GIRL IN THE END

Aiming to delude immigration officials, the two travel to Andrew's family's home in Alaska to try to build a case to others (that would be interviewed by immigration officials later) of their engagement.    The family is thrilled for Andrew to be engaged, and anyone who has been engaged to anyone can certainly relate to some of the awkward things they are required to do such as talk of how they first met, replay the proposal scene and even kiss in front of others.  Betty White's performance as the grandmother matriarch here is priceless.

Really?  I have to get down on my
knees for this guy?

As expected their indifference towards each other gradually shifts to the solidarity required to pull their act of to best buds and mutual admiration all those fuzzy feelings they were believed to have towards each other in the first place.   The budding romance climaxes in a scene when Andrew takes Margaret out boating and ends up having to rescue her from the water.  While one might expect it to be simply a damsel in distress meme, it actually becomes more than that.  The rescue scene echoes the vulnerability he has to her as a personal assistant rather than accentuates his strength and extension power over her.  Moreover, part of the success of this particular rescue scene depends on her taking some of the responsibility for saving herself.  The fears she has to face here embody the fears she has to face first in being honest with Andrew's family about the whole affair and later committing herself to him.

Fortunately, there is not a lot of product placements in this film other than the fact that it serves as an infomercial for Alaskan tourism (it's more than just snow and Eskimos up there, baby).  In terms of the messaging of the film, there is some tacit encouragement of the sham marriage, but the immigration officials are on their asses (especially hers) the whole film, so it does portray the serious risks of doing such a thing rather persuasively.

Overall, it's not the greatest film in the world, but considering the generally dismal nature of the genre, it's somewhat impressive.

Final Verdict: GOOD

Most awkward part of having no-kissing scenes: We barely know she says "yes!"

Forgetting "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"

I start with a movie that is very close to me.  The protagonist shares my name (Peter), my ambition (writing musicals), and quite a few of my personality traits (obsessive with an off-and-on ambitious streak and a tendency to be in the wrong place at the wrong time).

It's probably no surprise that I don't like this character who is played by Jason Segal, and it's not just because the songs he performs aren't really that good (2 chorders that sound like Candle in the Wind) and that I'm jealous of the music studio he has in his home that I will never be able to afford.  He's oblivious to people that care about him, self-absorbed, and only superficially interested in companionship unless it's with a girl that really digs him.  (Hey, I didn't say I shared ALL of his personality traits).  Despite this, he somehow has an actress/model ex-girlfriend who stayed with him apparently for a long time before realizing that he wasn't the one who was going to take her places and do things.

SPOILER ALERT: THE GUY GETS THE GIRL IN THE END

The story revolves around him following Sarah and her new boyfriend.....a big time rocker (played by Russell Brand) and "awkwardly" or rather "purposely" running into them several times, while lamenting that he can't be with her again.

Already we have a virtuous stalker.  If it were a girl or even either a jock or geeky guy, it would be a creepy annoyance, but because he's played by a harmless Jason Segall and is writing a Dracula puppet show musical, he's a sweet soul just trying to find closure.  And gentlemen, if you are this sweet harmless soul tagging along with your ex-girlfriend's crew AKA a stalker, you can even win the sympathy of and score with the cutie at the tourism booth (played by Mila Kunis).

I vant to suck my ex-girlfriend's dignity

The good news is that he has to leave Hawaii all alone, having secured neither of the two girls for the ride back.  But, the sadness he feels at ruining things leads him to bang on the piano singing about how terrible his songs are  (just like me Peter Moody) which leads him to actually finish the Dracula puppet musical, which unfortunately ends up being a lot more awesome than the initial disappointing songs he writes would otherwise suggest.  And guess which of the girls somehow hears about the musical and is at its opening to check him out?

Overall, a decent love film for songwriting dreamer nerds like me (although nowhere near as good as Music and Lyrics).  Still the film has a number of social messaging issues.  Peter only finds his happiness after he scores with the new girl, and that scoring is only possible after a night of drinking several bottles of wine with the new and old girl subtly fighting over him with their words.   And only when Sarah Marshall is in the vulnerable position he was once in (by begging him back) can he finally be over her.  In other words, even if you're the harmless, awkward, over-emotional type of guy, you can still be the trophy asshole.

Final Verdict: Cross between UGLY and WILD-CARD

Most awkward part of having no-kissing scenes: Characters end up in bed together quicker than expected.

Love Films, No Kisses

When I first came to Saudi Arabia, I had so much to do and so much exhileration to do it.  Now as I wait for my wife's visa to be processed, I'm just trying to find the best way to pass the time.  My only real source of entertainment is the Dubai Movie channel that typically plays romantic comedies every night.  I have thereby decided to review these films..to deem them as Good, Bad, Ugly, or Wild Card and to extract their implicit social statements, their capitalist ethos and/or  patriarchal underpinnings.  The only problem is that on TV in the UAE, they edit out all the kissing scenes.....so  what's it like to have the love without the catharsis...?